I’ve realized two things since arriving in Poland almost two months ago.1) I was/am incredibly ignorant about how the post-WWII period affected these countries (but I’m trying! I’m reading books, because I’m funemployed and have time for that) and 2) Besides being deadly for so many, the turbulent political situation all over Eastern Europe in the second half of the twentieth century was absolutely bonkers. Between Communism, the Cold War, the always colorful and often violent leaders, the remnants of that period make up some of the stranger tourism sites we’ve been too. Our visit to Tito’s secret bunker, only revealed in the 1990s and open to the public in 2011, was no exception.

Visiting the Balkans, you quickly learn all about Josip Tito: former Partisan Nazi-fighter, Stalin-defier, and the larger-than-life leader of Yugoslavia from 1944 until his death in 1980. We got word of Tito’s bunker via Atlas Obscura, which has led to some delightful off-the-beaten-track finds (like the palace-turned-public-library in Budapest). I believe you can take a tour that will get you there via a bus, but we took our rental car and the directions included finding a tourist agency in the tiny town of Konjic (AND a parking spot), getting handwritten directions that involved turning left four times, crossing three bridges, and showing our information to a security guard since this is an active military compound. When we finally arrived, we were excited to see that we were the only ones on the tour that Tuesday, and we had our delightful tour guide all to ourselves. Plus, the area is DROP DEAD BEAUTIFUL with mountains and clear rivers, the leaves are changing, and there was just a feeling of bewitching adventure in the air.

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Once we entered, this place is straight out of a James Bond movie. With over 100 rooms totaling about 68,000 square feet, this top secret project cost $4.6 billion dollars. The bunker was built to keep Tito, his family, his generals, diplomats from the six Yugoslavian countries, and 350 military men and staff alive for six months in the event of a nuclear detonation.

It took 26 years to build, and was so secret that workers were blindfolded as they were transported to the site. The as-yet-to-be-identified architect (that secret is locked up in Belgrade for another 50 years, apparently), thought of EVERYTHING. Since this was a big secret and only had a few guards taking care of the place until the war in 1992–when desperate residents of Konjic wisely raided the food and medical supplies socked away–the bunker looks exactly like it did when it was completed in 1979. And since the bunker was constructed in the 1960s and 1970s, it looks like a nuclear armageddon hidey-hole for the Mad Men set.

We toured the sophisticated water system area (the original water is still in the ginormous tank, because they never used it!), the electrical system, and the communication system (which was kind of a hybrid between internet and morse code).

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Then, we got to the living quarters of all of these people. Most bunker residents would get a bunk and that’s about it. Tito, however, got a full bedroom suite with a double bed, a bathtub, a bidet, his favorite silk wallpaper (apparently he had a favorite silk wall paper…?) and closet space galore. The whole thing is kept at a comfortable temperature because of a Carrier air-conditioning system (hey America!….and Trump, I guess? Gross.)

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The other peculiar aspect to visiting the bunker is that the Bosnian government has turned all of this square footage they have on their hands into a massive gallery space for modern art installations–and some of that stuff is WEIRD.

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Provocative murals, graffiti, dire warnings about global warning Sharpied onto the wall, disturbing black and white videos playing on repeat. As if the bunker isn’t eery enough, you’ll turn a corner and see red light emanating out of a doorway, or walk into a room to see a wardrobe spinning, or hear strange music from some far off corner of this secret underground lair. Especially since it was just us two and our cool guide, it was spooky and eerie and fantastic: exactly the kind of unique experiences I was hoping to nab on this harebrained journey.